i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
