how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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