He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
