You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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