Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
