all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
