I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
