She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I need to align my fucking chakras
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