Little spoons don't ask big questions
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
