I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
