Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
