Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They have beer where we have blood.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
