I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
do nipples grow back?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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