I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
