its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
