I only kidnapped one of them. chill
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
