p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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