That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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