seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
