that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So much Jack, so little girl.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
