Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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