I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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