Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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