Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
