nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize