just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
