so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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