Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I puked a lego.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
