These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
where are my eyebrows?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
