Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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