i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
