I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
