Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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