I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
