Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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