you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
