I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
