I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
