Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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