you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
