Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
your room smells of hookers.
And success
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
