Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
