I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
