Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
