i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
