Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
