I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
