I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
MIDGETS
????
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
