He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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