apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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