You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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