my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
