Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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